Back Again
February 6th, 2009 in Uncategorized by Alianna
Hello World!
I miss JS. I really do. I’ll creep around here once in awhile, but mostly, I stick to my blogspot address:
http://aliannakyran.blogspot.com
I don’t think I’ll be switching back just yet. I’m an emotional kind of girl and there are so many memories here. I’m trying to continue to follow everyone. I miss all my old posts, but mostly I miss the old JS. The homepage, the recent comments, the look and feel of something different.
As lame as this is: I thought I’d be at JS forever. I would think about how one day when (and if) I get married, I’d be there (or here), relating it all to my small audience. How if and when I had kids there stories would be here. Most of all I thought of how one day I would be able to give my kids the address and they would be able to share in my story.
I was lucky; I archived on November 10, 2009 and most of the other entries were saved on my computer before being posted, so I have a lot of what was lost. It’s not the same though. It’s still not JS. I can give them all the unfinished stories, undiluted posts in the archive format with a lot of the comments, but I can never give them the community feel of JS. I can only show them how much better JS made me. How it allowed me to express everything and more without any of the fear I was feeling in my 3D life and how I felt accepted. I felt like it was okay, like those fears were unfounded and I finally, without realizing I ever felt this way to begin with, confronted and dealt with a lot of my insecurities.
I’m much more able to understand myself because I wrote at JS and now at blogspot than I ever would have been had I continued therapy, hand-written a journal (which I do anyway) or just simply talked with someone else I trusted.
So, for now, I’m sticking to blogspot. I’m comfortable. Maybe, if JS becomes more like it used to be, I’ll transfer back. If I can find out how to automatically stream all the entries here, I will.
Love and kisses,
Alianna
